Unbelievable Luxury Awaits: Maranim Plaza Hotel, Amparo, Brazil!
Unbelievable Luxury… Or Overhyped Hype? A Messy Deep Dive into Maranim Plaza Hotel, Amparo, Brazil. (Spoiler: It's Complicated!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I'm about to unleash a detailed and (hopefully) brutally honest review of the Maranim Plaza Hotel in Amparo, Brazil. Forget perfectly polished brochures – this is coming straight from the trenches, and frankly, my feet are still recovering from all the walking. Let's get messy, shall we?
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Accessibility - A Mixed Bag, Let's Be Real:
- Overall: They say accessible, and they try. But "trying" doesn't always equal "truly accessible."
- Wheelchair accessibility: Yes, there are lifts (elevators, for those non-techy people) and ramps. But maneuverability inside some rooms? Let's just say it's a tight squeeze in some areas. I’m talking, "hold your breath and hope for the best" tight.
- Facilities for disabled guests: They have some, but the devil, as always, is in the details. The accessible rooms are…okay. Functional, but not exactly dripping with the promised “Unbelievable Luxury.” Consider calling ahead and asking for specific room measurements.
- The good news: The public areas, for the most part, are pretty open. Navigating the lobby, the restaurants, and the pool area wasn't impossible.
On-site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges - Food, Glorious Food (and a bit of a headache):
- The main restaurant, The Vista, strove to provide accessible tables. However, getting a wheelchair to the buffet…well, let’s just say I saw some folks struggling.
- The Poolside Bar was much easier to manage, offering a beautiful view of the outdoor pool
- The staff, bless their hearts, were generally eager to help. But sometimes "eager" isn't enough. They need better training and more awareness.
Internet - Praise the Wi-Fi Gods! (Mostly):
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! And mostly worked well. Big win.
- Internet [LAN]: Available if, like, you really need to plug in. But who does that anymore?
- Wi-Fi in public areas: Strong and reliable, which is crucial when you’re trying to update your Instagram with those gorgeous pool pics.
- Internet services: Standard stuff. No complaints on this front.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax - Spa Day Shenanigans and Poolside Bliss:
- Pool with view: OH. MY. GOD. The pool is stunning. Truly breathtaking. The photographs don't do it justice. Sunsets, cocktails… pure bliss. I spent hours there, just basking in the Brazilian sun.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: The big one. Get in it. Now.
- Spa/sauna: The spa was a highlight, if a little pricey. The sauna was excellent for sweating out those caipirinhas I'd been imbibing.
- Massage: I indulged. Twice. Worth every penny.
- Steamroom: The steam room was a little too… steamy. A bit much for me.
- Fitness center: I'm supposed to tell you about the gym, but honestly, I was too busy lounging by the pool. However, it looked well-equipped, from a brief glance.
- Body scrub, Body wrap: Didn't try 'em. Next time, though!
Cleanliness and Safety - COVID-19 Edition: A Tale of Two Realities:
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Apparently, they're using them. I take their word for it.
- Breakfast takeaway service: Handy for those late-night (or early morning) arrivals.
- Cashless payment service: Essential in these times. Approved.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: I saw staff cleaning, which makes me think they're at least trying.
- Doctor/nurse on call: Reassuring, thankfully didn't need them.
- First aid kit: Present and accounted for.
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere. Everywhere! No excuses for not using it.
- Hot water linen and laundry washing: Good to hear, though I didn't test it personally.
- Hygiene certification: I didn't ask to see it, but I'd hope they're following protocols.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Mostly. Breakfast buffet had some, some didn’t.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: They tried. In the restaurants, it worked better than by the pool, which was a free-for-all sometimes.
- Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays: Okay, good. This I liked.
- Room sanitization opt-out available: Not sure I'd be inclined to do that, but nice to have the choice.
- Safe dining setup: Generally good. Tables well-spaced.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: I assume so? Didn't see anything concerning.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They seemed to be, but sometimes, you could tell they were getting used to it.
- Sterilizing equipment: They probably have it, but I didn't see it.
- Shared stationery removed, Shared stationery removed: A small detail, but a welcome one.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Food Adventures (and the Occasional Disaster):
- A la carte in restaurant: Yes, thankfully. The buffet, despite being expansive, was a lot.
- Alternative meal arrangement: They are willing to adjust.
- Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant: No Asian breakfast. I had a craving I could not satisfy. The lack of Asian cuisine was a letdown. This is BRAZIL, people! Embrace the fusion!
- Bar: Excellent cocktails, beautifully made. Happy hour is a must.
- Bottle of water: Complimentary, thankfully. Dehydration is not fun on vacation.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Overwhelmingly large, but they had everything from bacon to fruit to pastries. Some things were incredible.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Good, strong coffee. Essential.
- Desserts in restaurant: Delicious. Probably too delicious. My waistline is still recovering.
- International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: A good variety.
- Poolside bar: Crucial. The best cocktails of the trip, and the most beautiful view.
- Restaurants: The Vista was the main one. Service was a bit spotty at times (more on that later).
- Room service [24-hour]: Available. Useful for those midnight cravings.
- Snack bar: Got some quick bites. Fine.
- Vegetarian restaurant: I'm a big fan of vegetarian food. They didn't have a vegetarian restaurant but made it possible so very well.
- Western breakfast: Yes, and good, though there was a lack of Asian options.
- Soup in restaurant, Salad in restaurant: Good, fresh, and diverse (salad).
Services and Conveniences - The Ups and Downs:
- Air conditioning in public area: Essential. Amparo gets HOT.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events, Indoor venue for special events, Meetings/banquet facilities, Seminars, Wi-Fi for special events: They do a lot of conferences, and it shows.
- Business facilities: Did not use.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Convenient. Good to have.
- Concierge: Helpful. But sometimes they were just plain clueless.
- Contactless check-in/out: Appreciated! Made things much smoother.
- Convenience store: Handy for snacks and essentials.
- Daily housekeeping: Thorough and pleasant. They kept my room spotless.
- Doorman: Always there to greet you.
- Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service: Useful.
- Elevator: Worked perfectly.
- Essential condiments: Present (though I didn't pay much attention).
- Facilities for disabled guests: Mentioned above.
- Food delivery: They can help.
- Gift/souvenir shop: Overpriced, avoid.
- Invoice provided: Standard.
- Luggage storage: Secure.
- **On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into my trip to the Maranim Plaza Hotel in Amparo, Brazil. Forget the perfectly polished travel blogs, you're getting the raw, unfiltered me. Think of it as a travel diary smeared with caipirinha and the sticky residue of pure, unadulterated joy.
Day 1: Arrival (and the Great Bathtub Debacle)
Arrival Time: My flight decided to “arrive” a glorious 3 hours late. Thanks, GOL, for the scenic detour! I was already a sweaty mess, and then the airport… a hot, buzzing, chaotic symphony of Portuguese I barely understood and anxious tourists clutching their duty-free.
Hotel Check-in: Found the Maranim Plaza. It looks like a grand old dame, slightly faded around the edges, but with charm that could melt glaciers. The lobby's air conditioning was a lifesaver. The receptionist? Adorable, with a smile that could power a small city. (She also spoke some English, Hallelujah).
The Room! Okay, so the room. It was… rustic, let's say. Definitely echoing with a history of maybe a few more years than I’d like to admit, but the view? Unbelievable. Rolling hills, a glimpse of the city, and a perfect canvas for sunsets. Buuuut, the bathroom. Oh, the bathroom. First thing I did when I got there was run a bath. The tub? A gorgeous claw-foot antique. Perfect, right? Wrong. The bathtub was a lie. Turns out someone had replaced the drain with a plastic bottle cap. After a minor freak out and a phone call to the front desk, and some amazing work a man with a wrench, I was able to finally run a bath.
Dinner: Tired, hungry, and slightly rattled by the bathtub drama, I decided to try the hotel restaurant. The buffet? A mixed bag. The feijoada (black bean stew) was divine. The rest… well, let's just say I stuck to the caipirinhas (made with real cachaça, thank the heavens). I'm pretty sure I overloaded on it and went straight to bed.
Day 2: Amparo City exploration (and the coffee incident)
Morning: Woke up feeling surprisingly spritely, despite the caipirinhas. Breakfast at the hotel was an adventure. Pastries I couldn't pronounce, fresh fruit that exploded with flavor, strong, bitter coffee. I am not a morning person but I love coffee. What I failed to realize and what I would later do again, and again. This coffee was strong. I was bouncing off the walls.
Exploring Amparo: Armed with a terrible map and my newfound caffeine-induced energy, I set out to explore the city. The streets were a riot of color, music spilling from open doorways, the air thick with the smell of something delicious I couldn't quite identify. I got gloriously lost. Totally worth it.
The Church of Our Lady of the Conception. Built in 1888, this church is stunningly beautiful. I spent a good hour there, soaking in the atmosphere. The architecture is just amazing.
Cafe Visit (The coffee incident part 2): Found a little cafe. I ordered, in some mangled Portuguese, a cafecito. The cafe was filled with a local crowd, laughter and chatter, people moving this and that, old and young, everyone seemed to know each other. I ordered and the waiter told me again, "Café forte?" I smiled and said yes. He was right. It was strong! By the time I took my second sip, I could feel the energy. I sat there watching the city go by. I had the best time!
Afternoon: More wandering, more delightful confusion, and a growing appreciation for the people of Amparo. They are so friendly, so welcoming, even when I butchered their language.
Dinner: Tried a recommended Churrascaria (Brazilian barbecue). The meat flowed freely. I nearly burst. Pure carnivore heaven.
Day 3: Serra Negra Day Trip (and the case of the missing passport)
Morning: Decided to take a day trip to the nearby town of Serra Negra, known for its thermal waters. Grabbed a taxi. Everything was going swimmingly, until…
The Passport Panic: Mid-trip, I had a full blown panic attack. Where was my passport? I rifled through my bag, my stomach plummeting to my toes. Not there. Did I leave it in the hotel? Did I drop it? The taxi driver, bless his heart, pulled over while I did. I started to sweat, my mind racing. I was trapped in a foreign country, without identification, without…. Eventually, after some deep breaths, I remembered. Duh! I was in my other bag. Crisis averted!
Serra Negra: Honestly, the thermal springs were a bit… anticlimactic. Smelly, crowded, and not quite the relaxing experience I’d envisioned. I did, however, find a fantastic little ice cream shop and made up for the passport anxiety.
Dinner: Back at the hotel, and craving something light after the meat-fest of the previous night. Room service it was. The club sandwich. A classic.
Day 4: Relaxation and Departure (and the lingering caipirinha hangover)
Morning (and the continuing saga of the coffee): Slept in, finally. No cafecito this time. Lesson learned (I didn't learn it, but moving on). Lounged by the pool. Read a book. Basically, did absolutely nothing. It was glorious.
The bittersweet goodbye: I was sad to leave. Maranim Plaza, despite its flaws, had grown on me, like some kind of quirky old aunt. I'd met some amazing people, seen some incredible sights, and eaten more food than should be humanly possible. I really liked Brazil. I didn't want to leave.
The Flight: GOL again. Did it arrive on time? Nope. Delayed with the standard 2 hour delay.
Final thoughts: Brazil, you magnificent, chaotic, beautiful beast. I’ll be back. And next time, I’m bringing a better drain stopper for the bathtub. And maybe a pre-trip caffeine-detox. Maybe.
Unbelievable Luxury... or Unbelievable Headaches? Maranim Plaza Hotel - Let's Get Real!
Okay, spill the beans. Is the Maranim Plaza *actually* luxurious? Because, you know, "luxury" can mean a lot of things...
Alright, fine. Let’s dive in, shall we? Look, the brochure… *oh, the brochure!*… promises the moon. Marble floors! Private balconies overlooking the Amazon! But the reality? Mixed bag, baby.
The lobby? Yeah, that’s *pretty* swanky. Chandeliers that could blind you, massive flower arrangements, the works. *That* part? Luxe. The rooms? Well… that depends. My friend Sarah, bless her heart, got a suite that legitimately *was* jaw-dropping. Floor-to-ceiling windows, a jacuzzi bigger than my living room, the whole shebang. Me? I got… a room. With a balcony, yes! Though the ‘Amazon view’ involved mostly a roof and a few very chirpy birds. And, I kid you not, a faint smell of… well, let's just say "tropical dampness."
So, luxurious? Parts of it! But don't go expecting perfection. I'm a sucker for a good chandelier, though. What can I say?
The food! What's the grub like? I'm a foodie, and this is make-or-break for me. Don't hold back!
Foodie, huh? Buckle up. The buffet… okay, the buffet, again, swings wildly. Breakfast was the best meal, hands down. Fresh fruit, amazing pastries (seriously, worth the trip alone!), and the best little *pão de queijo* I’ve ever inhaled. I may or may not have taken a few extra for the road… Don't judge me, they were *amazing*.
Lunch and dinner? Hmmm… a bit more… *adventurous.* One night, I swear, the fish tasted like it had come directly from the Amazon… a little *too* directly, if you catch my drift. Another night, they had a Brazilian barbeque, which *was* fantastic, and the caipirinhas flowed freely. Then came the day I had the ribs, and… well, let's just say my stomach wasn't a fan. I spent the next six hours acquainted with the hotel's bathroom... intensely acquainted, if you know what I mean. Lesson learned: stick to the fruit and pastries. Oh, and maybe bring your own stomach medication. Just in case.
What about the pool? Is it as Instagrammable as it looks?
Oh, the pool! The pictures? Gorgeous. Infinity edge, overlooking the river, sun loungers galore… in reality? Well, you get a good view of the river. The 'infinity edge" was there. But finding a sun lounger free? That felt like a competitive sport. It always felt crowded, with people jostling for space. And don't even get me started on the screaming children! I swear, I heard one kid whine for like an hour: "Mom, I want the same floatie as the cute boy". It was brutal, the pool experience. So, yes, Instagrammable, but also… kinda stressful.
Let's talk about service. Are the staff helpful, or a hot mess?
Okay, service. This is where things get… interesting. The staff are mostly lovely, genuinely trying to be helpful. But... um... communication can be a challenge. My Portuguese is practically non-existent, and English isn’t always their strongest suit either. There was one time, I tried to order room service and ended up with a plate of something I didn't recognize, and I swear I think it was squirrel. I'm pretty sure it was squirrel! I didn't eat it, obviously. But you get the idea. Sometimes it’s a comedy of errors, but mostly, they try their best. Smile and be patient, and you'll be fine. Just don't expect rapid service all the time. Or squirrel.
What about activities? Is there anything to actually *do* besides swim and eat?
Activities! Yes! They offer tours, boat trips, and that sort of thing. I did the Amazon river cruise! Which… was… well, let's just say the brochure oversold it again! The boat was a bit rickety, the guide’s enthusiasm was… subdued. And there weren't as many monkeys as I expected. However, the experience of just being out there, on the water, was remarkable, I saw a pink dolphin! It was awesome, a moment. This is where the hotel actually surprised me, I got a good experience. It was totally worth it. I’ll always remember that dolphin!
Any dealbreakers? Things I *absolutely* need to know before booking?
Dealbreakers? Hmmm… mosquitoes are a problem. Bring bug spray – the industrial strength kind! Seriously. The Wi-Fi is… spotty. Don't rely on it for anything important. And the air conditioning in the rooms… well, temper your expectations. It might not always be as arctic as you'd like. And finally, remember, you're in Brazil. Things run at their own pace. The staff does try, it just takes time to get things done. Embrace the chaos, go with the flow, and pack your patience (and bug spray!).
Would you go back?
You know what? Despite the flaws, the questionable ribs, the mosquito bites, and the sometimes-chaotic service, yeah, I think I *would* go back. The location is stunning, the potential is there, and the good bits were *really* good. Plus, I'm a sucker for a nice chandelier. Maybe next time, though, I’ll pack my own snacks and my own stomach medicine, and make absolutely sure I'm stocked up on bug spray. But yeah, I’m actually tempted. Call me crazy, but there was something… alluring about the whole experience, imperfections and all. Maybe I'll just stick to the pastries next time. And maybe, just maybe, I'll finally learn some Portuguese.
